Sunday, May 31, 2009

My Guy and My Son

Step Stools, Spanx and Marraige To The Right Guy

When I was single between the end of a 23 year marriage and finding the last man I will ever marry I was looking for the right guy. I was in Hiawasse, Georgia coming out of an all you can eat buffet with my brother Chip and our Mom when I thought I saw him. He came out of the restaurant with his wife or maybe she was still his lucky girlfriend. They both had the ample markings of never having missed dinner or the buffet line. His big red pick up truck was parked beside our car. He was tall and swung long blue jean clad legs from under his well belted waist and belly. She was short and round and he held her arm as they laughed and walked to the passenger door of the truck. Being a Southern Gentleman he opened the door for her, no surprise there, but what happened next knocked me in the solar plexus. He reached into the bed of the truck and pulled out a step stool, placed it on the ground by the side of the door and helped her up onto the stool and into the truck. With an affectionate pat on her bottom he made sure she was all the way in and ready to perch on the seat before closing the door and putting the stool away.

I was stunned and my Mom and Chip and I turned to each other and let out a collective breath and sigh and "WOW DID YOU SEE THAT". We had all been watching and equally captivated at the loving gesture. It instantly created a new frame of reference for me. Find a loving and supportive man willing to help in any situation. I would have expected ridicule and jokes waiting for her to pull herself into the truck's cab. Instead of teasing and embarrassment we watched kindness and caring pull out of the parking lot in that truck.

It took a couple more years before my right guy came along. But when he did he was able to help me out with kindness and humor. He carefully drove around a parking lot to look for me when I had told him I'd wait in our car for him to pay the breakfast bill. I was happily reading the Sunday paper in the car when out of the passenger side review mirror I saw him. He was cruising by slowly and unmistakably in our bright orange Pontiac Grand Prix. I looked around me and in an instant realized I was sitting in the wrong car, different make different color, reading somebody else s Sunday paper while he patiently looked for me. Flinging open the car door I fled to the safety of my husbands car and we shared one of many hearty laughs.
This morning he helped me into a pair of Spanx. Spanx for those of you who might be uninformed are the new millennium's girdle. Spandex with no visible pantie lines. I bought them to wear under the dress I am wearing to my son's wedding. They are a remarkably tight fit and required some engineering and assistance to get into. He was just the guy for the job and again we shared in the fun and humor of life. He is my rock and safe place. He shared our home with my mother when she was in her nineties with much more grace than I and stood by me when she died. He has taken care of our pets and home and me with good grace and humor.

My son is getting married. I can't imagine his utterly lovely, long and willowy bride to be will ever need a step stool or a pair of Spanx. What she will need is a guy who will help her out when she falls a bit short and possibly lands in the wrong car, or out of a tight squeeze in a sticky situation. No doubt he will need the same of her. I hope I have set him off with enough humor in his kind heart and enough patience in his eager soul to meet any challenge that married life and a long relationship can bring. Marriage takes love which is patience and kindness. Humor is the balm that eases the way.

I Corinthians 13