Boston

Boston is my city.

My ducks are there in Boston. Don't mess with my ducks.

Anne 

The Bride!

My beautiful daughter is engaged! I couldn't be happier for her. 

What dreams are made of!  I love you dear girl.

Girls and Dolls

My little granddaughter visited this weekend and we played dolls.

We had so much fun today. I think the dolls did too.  

I know Angie and Mya did.

Gramma Anne

Doll Clothes

I finally bought a cabbage patch doll at Good Will today.  She almost tumbled into my wagon.  I had to take her home.  All she had were pink satin panties on.  Her little knobby belly button naked to the world.
Now she has a cozy sweater.

Knitting for dolls is so much fun.  Unlike your children you can keep hunting til you find one that actually fits into your creation...

She is pretty sweet in that funny Cabbage Patch way.  Now I need a name for her.
Anne

Fun With Boys

It has been so much fun watching big sister discover that little brother is fun!

Love to see them playing together.

This year Mya really anticipated and enjoyed Christmas!  We all did.  When there are children around it is just so much more fun. 
We have been so blessed this year and looking forward to another new baby in the spring from the northern team.

Waiting for more pictures to be sent!  Talk about anticipation...

Anne

Magical Christmas

The wonder in a little child's eyes at Christmas makes all the mess worth while!

Merry Christmas!
 

Woolie Lambs

All day I have been thinking about Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn. 
Praying alot and grieving makes me think about sheep and more importantly about The 23rd Psalm.



Our Ewe Freckles

 Freckles.  Not a very good picture of her. She was loved by my family when I was growing up.  I always think of her when I think of the 23rd Psalm and how when I was little hearing that psalm in church made me happy I had lambs and Freckles at home. 

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name' sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: For thou art with me;
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;
Thou annointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.

-- KJV

I think I will do some knitting tonight and let the wool run through my fingers. Knit, pray, knit, pray.

Anne

 

Happy Thanksgiving

I have so much to be thank ful for this year that I could burst. 
Right now I am bursting from all the delicious food my daughter made.  She cooked enough for an army and sent us home with huge to go containers so we will even have left overs.
I woke up this am and thought how lucky I was to be able to relax this year and let the younger generation take over in their own kitchens!  That was a heavenly feeling. 
I even got to snuggle on the couch with my five month old grandson while he fell asleep.

God has blessed us in so many ways this year.  It was a wonderful day.
God bless my family and friends.
Anne

God's Eyes

My favorite picture of Mya.

Sometimes she is shy and even closes her eyes to make herself feel safe.  You know, "if I can't see you then you can't see me".
In this picture she is at Siesta Beach. The huge expanse of sand and water surrounding her.  The Gulf of Mexico behind her as far as one can see. 
Mya is not afraid.  Her eyes are on her mother and father.  Her parents are with her.   She is safe.  She is bold.  She is striding with confidence, joy, purpose.  She is exalted. 

In this same way our Father God 's eyes watch over us.   If only we will look to him in every circumstance we can feel this safe, this bold, this exalted.

King David asked in Psalm 139: 7-10

"If I go up to the heavens, You are there; if I make my bed in the depths, You are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast."

 

The Lord will watch over you

In Psalm 121:7-8, he gave us a precious promise:

"The Lord will keep you from all harm - He will watch over your life.
The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore."

 

Blessings on you my dearest Mya.  I pray you always feel the love of God your Heavenly Father and know in your heart this safety.
Gramma.

Yes I Did

Did you really do it?  Or is it just a picture?  No, I really did it. That is my wrist you are looking at.

Something that says what I can't always manage to say.  Something beautiful. Something I never would have dreamed that I would do.  Yet there it is along with the miracles and the Faith.  There is my one and only tattoo.
I am home. We are all presently in a safe harbour.  God is with us.
Anne

The Blessing

God has blessed us
with a gift that is beyond compare in this world.

A family has chosen to give an organ for transplant. 

God gives freely and with great magnitude.  This family has also.

Out of the deep and profound loss of their twenty year old son or daughter they have been somehow able to give life to others.  How?  It is so hard to imagine this kind of bravery. 

It is life changing.
There are no words...

I have spent 24 years thinking how some day this gift and ONLY this gift would save the life of someone I love.  I have prayed for this countless nights.
I have begged, I have wept, I have had faith and I have lost faith only to find it again.  I have given it to God and I have taken it back many times. 

God in his great Mercy knows a mother's heart. 

There are three mother's hearts here. A birth mother. The mother of the donor. There is my heart the adoptive mother's heart.  God holds them all.

How do I go on.  What can I give of myself?  So great these gifts to me have been.

It is truly humbling and life changing.

We are all still in the midst of this.  As the days go by I need to find a path that will allow me to give back some how, some way, even a measure of
this gift. 

The Dr said today to measure progress one day at a time. Yesterday I was told by the same Dr to measure progress in hours.  I have been told this is a roller coaster ride this experience of receiving an organ transplant. It is.

Only God knows the answers to life's mystery.  To God and God alone I turn and give thanks and ask for Peace to be upon these other Mother's. 

Registering to be an organ doner is easy.  It is a box to check that says yes this is my wish.  It is an important choice to make.  Important because the act of giving these organs is far far more complicated for the loved ones the donor leaves behind.  I have thought about this so much in the last five days.

The reality that the death of a loved one is imminent.
The family gathering.
The bewildering choices and decisions to carry out this request. 
The final good byes.
The transplant team of Dr's and Interns waiting at the end of the hall. 
The behind the scenes team of experts and coordinators.
The long list of waiting terminally ill patients.
The donor's wishes.
The final choice and permission.
The transplant recipient waiting.  Getting the call. Waiting. Getting prepared. Waiting.
The unknown.  The known.
It is unknown who each other are.
It is known that there is love and hope.
Hope from the donor family that a life cut short will have Grace and Meaning in this sharing.
Hope from the receipients family that life will be given an opportunity to flourish with Grace and Meaning.

God is in this balance.  It is neither fair or unfair. None of life is. 
It is what we get.  What God gives or takes is beyond words. 

I am praying for understanding of what I cannot imagine. 
I am praying for a good outcome for us all. For the Grace of God that passes all understanding to enfold each one of us and give us peace.

Anne.













 

Packing For the Hospital

I started packing. There is only worrying and packing to do. I choose to pack.
I have my mother's bible ready. It is crammed with notes and papers.

Mom's Bible

There are passages marked in here that I know will be perfect when I need them.
Then I packed the project bags.
Hospital Knitting is different from any ordinary knitting.  I guess it is even more ordinary.  It is knitting that you just knit. The stitches you know and can rely on.  The ones that comfort you. 
I have an old friend in this bag.

Kathleen Taylor's wristers

 Wristersby Kathleen Taylor. They are the perfect wristers and so pretty made with bright self striping yarn. Kathleen writes a blog that I follow. She is a writer and fiber instructed her patterns are easy to follow.
In this bag I have Knitty wristers.  Knitty is always good. Like thousands of old and dear friends are stitting with you knitting along on their much beloved patterns.
This is my knitty project bag with some beautiful wool yarn a friend sent me last year.


Fall Berry By Knitty
 

this wrister has a pattern so it will be for the really good days. Since the yarn is white I will be able to see the pattern through my cataracts.  Yeah I'm hoping too.


Groups of Loops Cowl

by Dani Hodge

I have lush old Shetland Wool in this bag. For a simple cowl. I found this yarn at a thrift shop and I know it has waited years for this chance to be picked up and worked with.



Silver's Sock Class
 

Here is a bag of socks.  The endless socks. Not the colonoscopy socks those are a dead end... These are hopeful pretty blue stretchy socks  .... Hopeful I can find the original pattern. (and I did on ravelry)
Here is everything all lying out and ready for packng.

& yes the Xanax is packed.  A mother needs HER Mother's  bible, her knitting and her Xanax when her child is in the hospital. 
They all fit in the big red Donate Blood project bag

I have not donated blood lately, my H & H don't want to cooperate, neither does my blood pressure.  Maybe you will have the opportunity to donate.  It is so important.

I am ready and waiting for the call that says "yes YES" and then I will book my flight and leave for Boston.  It is just hours away. I am ready. I have been ready for years. 
I am praying for the donor family. I am praying for my family and for the Dr's hands and hearts.
I am relying on my angels above and my friends and family here on earth.  I am in God's hands and so is my son.
I am full of hope and Xanax. Please pray with me. God to guide us, God to Hold us. God to bring us Salvation.
Anne.

Introducing My New Grandson

Birth by appointment... C-section is really very nice to plan around.  Our little man entered the world right on schedule and both he and his mother are doing perfectly...
and here he is...

Brennan Cole

Brennan Cole entered our world on June 20th, 2012 weighing 6 lbs 11 oz and 20" long.  He has his mother's eyes, his father's mouth and his big sisters hair...he is exquisite in every way.  He was born on the 100th anniversary of my mother's birth. 
We are all in baby bliss... big sister loves his little toes...and secure in her parents love she is showing her love for her tiny baby brudda.

first day

Mya discovers baby toes

Big Sister Mya

Dad in total bliss with his boy in his arms

all knit and wrapped up!

Brennan may you be blessed as you have blessed us.  We thank you God for this tiny life intrusted to our care from your eternal love.

Grandfather

This Moment In Time...

Leo and his Gak

Breathless

Breathless with anticipation...

We can't wait!

getting ready

Phoebe knows something is up

Only 5 days left to wait!

So Darn Cute

We are all ready and waiting!...

Baby Boys Do Have Cute Things

Daughter's baby shower was today.  I have been planning and preparing for several weeks. It has been a long time since I have given a party. Especially for this dear daughter.
It was lots of fun. The hardest part was packing the car full of shrimp salad, cupcakes, fondant hydrangea blossoms, ice, drinks, a hot crock pot... and not driving it all into a ditch.  I arrived with everything intact.

Cupcakes

The party was held in daughter's new home.  Setting up was lots of fun.

cute little elephants scattered around

The nursery and Mya's rooms are so cute!

Nursery

Mya's Big Sister Room

Baby gifts are just so much fun!

Proof that baby boy's things are cute too!

Adorable little outfits with Monkeys on them

It was a fun day and in just 4 short weeks the newest member of this growing family will make his appearance...we can't wait!
Anne    May 20 2012

  Jesus Loves the Little Children
Jesus calls the children dear,
“Come to me and never fear,
For I love the little children of the world;
I will take you by the hand,
Lead you to the better land,
For I love the little children of the world.”

Refrain

Jesus loves the little children,
All the children of the world.
Red and yellow, black and white,
All are precious in His sight,
Jesus loves the little children of the world.

My Mother's Writing Her Story of Motherhood

How Do You Dust A Butterfly:
  by my mother
Barbara Arnold written about 1995

Dusting was not high on my priority list, but it had to be done occasionally.  When I was especially lax my husband would write the date on the slant top  mahogany desk.  Then I would go to work.  The children's rooms were a problem.  There were the unfinished automobile and plane models I wasn't supposed to touch, and piles of oddments I didn't want to touch I might put my hand on an attempt to cure a squirrel skin, or a very old sandwich with furry mold on it.  I was careful about clothing after I pulled three decomposed clams from Ross's blue jeans, the forgotten bait from fishing two weeks past.
    
I dusted the base boards, window sills, and arranged stuffed animals artistically, as in a home decorating magazine, then tackled the real challenge, the tops of furniture.  Here were the treasures which under no circumtances could be thrown away, not a single rusty nail, box top, marble or unstitched baseball.

The Scouts, bless them, and the schools all encouraged hobbies and edifying collections in shoe boxes, glass jars, mounted on cardboard, taped in scrap books which fell apart, and in heaps.  All attracted dust, especially Chip's car parts.  Have you ever considered dusting the greasy organs of a disembowelled automobile engine?  The trick is to put them in boxes with covers, a bigger box every week as the collection grows.  I must not forget he won a blue ribbon with his dismantled V8 engine, each part carefully identified and connected to a diagram with tape.

Then there were the live things, the fuzzy caterpillar living of course in a shoe box, the bowls of guppies which ate their children, and the baby racoons demanding to be fed every half hour with Anne's doll baby bottle.

No, our house would not have made the pages of  " House Beautiful".  Interesting, yes, but odd.  What decorator would put piles of rocks on the bureau, and cigar boxes of possible fools's gold and "could be" arrowheads teetering  on the bookcase:  Why were the books in tall stacks on the floor?  They were pressing leaves and wild flowers for, you guessed it, a nature collection.

Anne's room was usually booby-trapped with open paint boxes on the floor, jars of mixed and murky paint water, and damp paintings where I needed to step.  "Ginny dolls" and their accouterments occupied the level spaces, all of them, except where the stuffed animals and our live cat Cleopatra lounged.

I dediced to go with the flow on one occasion and posed the dolls interestingly
standing on their heads, peeking out of drawers, sitting precariously on the toilet, peering in the mirror, and so on.  That was fun but I had to stop to fix supper, and the dusting didn't get done.

Lullabelle, the Big Doll, seated in Anne's little rocker, presided sweetly over the chaos.  I had to be careful of her.  She was the Best Doll, so loved her arms and legs were prone to fall off.  She once had to go to the doll hospital and came home intact but with a new wig which took a long time to become accustomed to.  Today she sits on the sofa in Anne's living room, a presence in an antique dress.

My heart skipped a beat once at the sight of a fragile bird nest on Ross's desk, and one day, a butterfly.  After a few weeks I could blow the dust off the nest without disturbing its delicate construction, but how does one dust a butterfly?  It wasn't impaled on a pin, or part of a collection, just there as one would place a treasured bibelot, a wonder to be cherished.  It stopped me.  I was suddenly so glad I had a son who kept a butterfly on his desk.  In the high school, this oldest son Was on the wrestling team, but I had seen this butterfly!  At last the wings fell off, it disappeared, and I would look at the space where it had been.

Ross is gone from us now, but not before the special dust on a butterfly's wings touched us all forever.

Anne, the little mama of Lullabelle, the "Ginny"  dolls, and Cleopatra's descendents which cat-wise threatened to populate the earth, grew up to mother two adopted children along with her home made son,  sheltered a succession of black Labradors, and presently owns a mutt named " Otis Campbell", and a small dog creature that well looks to me, well, like a "dust kitty".  Her water colors now decorate her walls, crisp fragile renditions of fruits and flowers which I who was an art teacher wound not dare attempt.

Anne and her husband once provided dinner, bed, bath, and breakfast to a remarkable man passing through town on foot.  He was carrying a huge wooden cross, like Jesus.  It had a little wheel at the foot so he could drag it along the highway.  More recently she was a nurse and bus-mother to twenty teen-agers on a church mission to Mexico to build a house for a grateful little family in a barrio.  Twice lately when I have gone to visit her in another state there was a family or person in need housed in the guest room.  That is what she is like.

Younger son Chip, now middle aged, shares a house with me.. He has long since graduated from car parts, though that knowledge has been invaluable to us all these years.  He distinguished himself early by becoming the youngest graduate of Saab school and parts manager in the country.  He likes to hike in the woods and this spring brought home a beautiful perfect skin of a five foot long black snake, freshly discarded.  He draped it across the chest of drawers in his room, among the pictures and mementos of his children.    I found it a problem on cleaning day, so coiled it in a shallow box and stretched Saran over the top for viewing.  It is very handsome.  We can see how the emerging retile carefully peeled it off around the eyes and mouth, revealing an elegant new suit, never tearing even to the tip of the tail!  I feel good when I look at it.  I am old now and know I am in good hands.

I learned I didn't need to be so tidy, just wait a while and the hoards would be assigned to oblivion by their owners.  New sets of wonders would appear, and they really were wonders, the stuff and dreams of my children.  Dance programs, a victory sign cut from leather, another of metal welded in the school shop, posters, ballet slippers, a tiara, hockey pucks and the derby Ross wore exuberantly for sprin skiing, awards, diplomas follwed, and then they were gone, so soon it seemed that after all the dust had settled.

by Barbara C. Arnold


I miss you mom and I always will.  I think of  " how to dust a butterfly" often.  I remember the brother who first collected it every day.  I wonder at how my mother managed this balance in her life... this will to continue to search for beauty and the courage to cherish life and children with such passion even as they are taken from us and the dust settles.  Mothering is like taking off your clothes and walking naked when your tired and your feet hurt and your heart hurts you would take this walk for your child you would carry your child.  This is how God shows us to love one another.  Having faith to loose all you hold so dear and taking the walk carefully and with amazement past the butterfly, past the mementos and ahead into the every lasting love of God. 

Ecclesiastes 3:1
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven:


Happy Mother's day to the mothers I know, and the birth mother's I haven't met but who have taken that naked walk and intrusted their most precious gift with me.
Happy Mother's Day to my daughter's Amy and Biz and my dearest friends and my Sister's in law Gail and Debbie.  Bless you all.
Anne

Mom and Ross

Mom and Chip

Biz and Leo

Me, Mya, Amy

Mom and I her 90th birthday

Me and Lullabelle

Sweet Stuff

I can not wait to plop these into mounds of icing on cupcakes for my daughter's baby shower.

gum paste hydrangea flowers

 you can purchase them here:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/GumpasteGarden?ref=seller_info

Cadet Hat Topi

I don't look good in hats. This one is lots of fun to make though and yes I know I need to block it. My cataracts are lit up like high beams here.

Cadet Hat

http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEspring06/PATTtopi.html
I  really made this hat with my daughter in law in mind. She looks great in hats and she likes brims that keep the snow and rain off her glasses.

Topi with buttons

Topi brim

I will make this again and use wool. This was Vanna's Choice. It came out to big. I had to run a round of crochet around the bottom edge to pull it in snug.  Next time... wool and go down to a size 6 needle. Or go up a needle...wool and felt it a bit....hmmmm....knitting is always all about the endless mire of possibilities !