Thursday, September 27, 2012

The Blessing

God has blessed us
with a gift that is beyond compare in this world.

A family has chosen to give an organ for transplant. 

God gives freely and with great magnitude.  This family has also.

Out of the deep and profound loss of their twenty year old son or daughter they have been somehow able to give life to others.  How?  It is so hard to imagine this kind of bravery. 

It is life changing.
There are no words...

I have spent 24 years thinking how some day this gift and ONLY this gift would save the life of someone I love.  I have prayed for this countless nights.
I have begged, I have wept, I have had faith and I have lost faith only to find it again.  I have given it to God and I have taken it back many times. 

God in his great Mercy knows a mother's heart. 

There are three mother's hearts here. A birth mother. The mother of the donor. There is my heart the adoptive mother's heart.  God holds them all.

How do I go on.  What can I give of myself?  So great these gifts to me have been.

It is truly humbling and life changing.

We are all still in the midst of this.  As the days go by I need to find a path that will allow me to give back some how, some way, even a measure of
this gift. 

The Dr said today to measure progress one day at a time. Yesterday I was told by the same Dr to measure progress in hours.  I have been told this is a roller coaster ride this experience of receiving an organ transplant. It is.

Only God knows the answers to life's mystery.  To God and God alone I turn and give thanks and ask for Peace to be upon these other Mother's. 

Registering to be an organ doner is easy.  It is a box to check that says yes this is my wish.  It is an important choice to make.  Important because the act of giving these organs is far far more complicated for the loved ones the donor leaves behind.  I have thought about this so much in the last five days.

The reality that the death of a loved one is imminent.
The family gathering.
The bewildering choices and decisions to carry out this request. 
The final good byes.
The transplant team of Dr's and Interns waiting at the end of the hall. 
The behind the scenes team of experts and coordinators.
The long list of waiting terminally ill patients.
The donor's wishes.
The final choice and permission.
The transplant recipient waiting.  Getting the call. Waiting. Getting prepared. Waiting.
The unknown.  The known.
It is unknown who each other are.
It is known that there is love and hope.
Hope from the donor family that a life cut short will have Grace and Meaning in this sharing.
Hope from the receipients family that life will be given an opportunity to flourish with Grace and Meaning.

God is in this balance.  It is neither fair or unfair. None of life is. 
It is what we get.  What God gives or takes is beyond words. 

I am praying for understanding of what I cannot imagine. 
I am praying for a good outcome for us all. For the Grace of God that passes all understanding to enfold each one of us and give us peace.




Araignee said...

All I can think to say is...hallelujah.

Mulberry Whisper said...

Anne... May God have mercy and help all of you. I wish it so much. I hope to never face such a situation like you or the donor parents are facing. And I wish all of you good. May life continue for your special person (a very good life), and may the donor survive in your prayers.