Sunday, January 18, 2015

Big Sad Eyes

the broken frames
The adventure of the broken glasses. I lost my best glasses. Fortunately I had an old pair (pre-cataract surgery) that kind of worked so I have been wearing them. Wore them until they broke. Skip crazy glued a new arm to the temple cause he's a really nice guy. 
I have been wearing them a couple of months now. With a generous Christmas gift I was able to go to the eye DR for an exam and new glasses. It sounde like a simple solution. Until I met this...

and then this...

and the New Eye Dr that I'd never met before....
This is how things went.

So I go in and get in the chair .. The Dr raises the chair up and I have to put my eyes up to that gizmo you look through to read the chart. Can you see this, or is this one better....the chair starts to sink. I crane my neck to try and read... I can't see it..... Okay he adjusts the chair.... can you see this or is this one better? chair slowly sinks as my neck slowly stretches up trying to see.... I think the first one is better , but I can't see...
Dr. well I don't know what's wrong. You can't see it? let me adjust the chair.... okay this one or is this one better.....
me.... chair sinking.... the first one no the second one. oh hell I can't see it. neck stretched to the limits and pushing myself up on the armrests...
Dr..... what is the problem? you can't see? 
Me... No is it the chair?
Dr.... I raised it..
Me... it's sinking.
Dr. I'll raise it again hold on... adjusts chair. OK  this one or this one?
Me... thinking I am in a Tim Conway and Carol Burnett skit....as chair sinks.....I can't seeeeeeee....
Dr..... I feel the chair brushing against my leg. 
Dr... Is it still Monday? Is it Monday again? 
Me.... laughing hysterically no it feels like Monday something is wrong with the chair I can't see.
Dr. ..gets up and walks behind the chair... Let me look at the chair....
Dr... Something smells back here....
Me.... thinking I don't smell it's not me....
Dr....there is fluid on the floor.....
Me..... ready to pee myself.....
Dr. ... Oh it really smells. Oh it's Hydraulic Fluid all over the floor. The chair is leaking Hydraulic fluid.....
Me..... doubled over crying and laughing... ,,,,
Dr.,,,, I am so sorry. It isn't you it's the chair. This must be Monday.  I'm so embarrassed really I've had this chair since 2003 and this never happened to me before.
Me... Really?  Cause things like this happen to me all the time!
We have to wait for another room to open up with an unbroken chair. so I can get my exam. 
The Dr does this whole impression of me stretching my neck saying... you just kept doing this...stretches neck...and I kept wondering what is wrong with her?
My trip to the new eye Dr's. One more week and I go back to pick up my glasses.
Sad Eyes Craning my neck
and wait for it....
Sad Eyes Lowering My Neck
When my glasses are here I will post a really nice picture. 
What have you been up to?
Thank you (you know who you are) for my new glasses.
Anne

5 comments:

dianne said...

omg, I started laughing when I saw what was coming. btw did Skip glue the arm of the glass to YOUR temple?

Debra Funkhouser said...

Oh, Anne! So funny!! This is going to be the story you're asked to tell at every family function, for ever!!

Thanks for the belly laugh!!

Araignee said...

Hilarious! I can't even imagine...I would have freaked out.

It is hell when the eyes go. I have about 500 pairs of cheap glasses all over the house and I still can't see worth beans. I wear two pair at a time just so I can see the TV and knit at the same time. The Mister calls me 6 eyes.

AnnMarie aka Vintage Junkie aka NaNa said...

Too funny! I have been trying to think of a way to "cheat" my way through my eye test because I don't want my prescription to change! I have 5 pairs of glasses in the current prescription. Maybe I'll just keep saying I can't see it and stretch my neck! Think it'll work? :-)

ThreeOldKeys said...

Your story is TOO funny ... first the sinking and then the stinking ...

I found you on the epsteam blog list thread.

:)